Family, The Boy and Me.

Been out for a lovely 45 min walk today with The Boy (after he sat beside me on the sofa eating a bacon sarnie, git!!). It consisted of me walking and him following throwing snowballs at my back. It was quite nice actually as he throws quite hard and it was a bit like a hard massage, it deffo sorted out a sore muscle or two.

He seems to be so much nicer these days. He actually willingly came for the walk with me. I didn’t have to beg or cajole him or even bribe him. Oh and I did get my own back when we got nearer the house with a few well aimed snowballs, which in turn gave him an excuse (so he thought) to put snow down my back, in my ear, in my face and down my front.

I really enjoyed spending the time with him, and hopefully he did with me and hopefully we will have many more walks together.

What other news? Well I have informed my family what I am doing. My Mums reaction was “well done” and my sister said she was proud. (Not heard from brother and older sister yet). Not sure what I was worried about. Well I do actually. I think them now knowing is going to put me under more pressure to do this as I don’t want them to be disapointed.  When it comes to things like this and pressure from family (I feel rightly or wrongly) there is a history of constant failure by me. I am crap to be honest. Giving up at soonest possible moment. I slip normally within a few days and then I just give up.

So what is different this time? I don’t know to be honest. I do feel the pressure creeping back, but as I am feeling good about myself and what I am doing and I feel in control, I don’t seem to be so bothered. So perhaps this is my year, perhaps my goals will be achieved. Perhaps my life will begin at 40.

Next step I guess will be publicising this on Facebook. I have been toying with the idea of doing that today. So who knows perhaps I will.

Right I’m off to go and hoover with gusto my stairs and bedrooms, then a hot shower, dressing gown feet up on the sofa and decide what to have for tea.

1st full week over.

Well thats my first full week done.

Good points about the week
1. I have started eating breakfast.
2. I have done 3 half hour walks in my lunch breaks
3. I have started a 45 min cardio and toning class on a thursday night.
4. I survived the 45 min cardio and toning class!
5. I weighed myself and faced the horrific news with a smile and a determined head.
6. I have measured my body and noted how many inches everything is.
7. Me and the boy had chinese takeaway and I only had a small portion of the chowmein and egg fried rice instead of my usual plate piled high and eating until I can eat no more.
8. I’ve cut down on my tea consumption and had herbal tea instead.
9. I feel good about what I have done and feel very determined.

Bad points about the week:
1. I had a slip up, I ate a Baby Ruth.
2. I didn’t do 2 of my half hour walks due to a nasty cold I’ve got.
3. I had chinese and felt guilty about it.
4. Finding out how much I weigh.

So all in all the positives out weight the negatives. That can’t be bad can it?
The Baby Ruth consumption was a moment of weekness. I saw it and thought of The Goonies. You know when Chunk uses it to befriend Sloth?

I had also been up since 4am and it was 6pm and I was suffering sleep deprivation. (Suuusssh I know I’m making excuses).

Anyway as those who follow me on Twitter, might have seen I have decided Thursday nights are the nights I am going to be revealing how much I’ve lost each week.  So next week will be the first update re that. I am so ashamed of how much I weigh so I am not telling you my weight just the amount I’ve lost. That might change over time, but for now it’s just my business.
I will also, when I see the inches lost let you know that as well.

So into the 2nd week I go. First though its a trip to the supermarket to find something yummy for tea. Suggestions anyone?!
See ya! xx

My Year – The Beginning

This is my year. 2013 is all about me. I am going to do somethings for me. I’m going to be selfish. I have decided, by this time next year (when I am due to turn the big 40), I will be half the person I am now, I will have a job I want and love and you never know there might even be a man in my life.  

I have started making steps to achieve these things. I have eaten my last packet of crisps (cheese and onion just for the record), and I’ve updated my CV on job sites.

I have also decided that instead of working through my unpaid 1/2 hour lunch break (which I have been doing for the last 2 years), I will go for a 1/2 hour walk along the sea front. I have been back at work 3 days so far and have managed to do 2 walks. I think I need to invest in some trainers, walking that far (and I am hoping I will get further as time goes by) in steel toe caps is not the most comfy way to go. Now this might not seem like much exercise but its 2 and half hours a week more than I am doing now. So that has to be good right?!?

I’m not going to post my before weight because I have no idea what it is, I’m not going to put my inches because I’m too embarrassed,  I’m not going to put my size because again I am embarrassed. Silly I know, but being so uncomfy about anyone knowing is a sure sign I need to sort my shit out. Perhaps as time goes by I will start to feel more comfortable about it, perhaps I will this time next year reveal all. Not literally of course, I strip for no one!!

I’m going to continue this blog over the next 12 months, more as a cathartic thing for me than anything else. But if you choose to follow and read about my ups and downs and no doubt my many failings, then that will be fab. Perhaps if you are trying to do something similar let me know, we can encourage each other. I will deffo need support and encouragement, and probably more than a few metaphorical kicks up the bum.  

No doubt there will be some ramblings about completely random things, and many rantings about who knows what, and I will probably have a bitch or two about the boy or work.

So come with me on my journey to find me and you never know we might actually like each other by the end of it!