Can’t Shop Won’t Shop

So today I decided I would take myself off to Chichester for a mooch around and do a bit of shopping. While there I eyed up:

1. A very expensive hand bag (£140!!!) And purse (£60) for about 30 minutes – didn’t buy it (regretting it slightly.. but really who spends that much on a handbag or purse!!??!)

2. A new laptop/tablet/convertable tablet – Didn’t buy one because do I really need one?

3. Cuban holiday for my 40th – still can’t decide what to do so not booked

4. Photoframe – walked around with it in shop for 30 mins.. put it back on the shelf and left..

5.  Went back to a shop to get new duvet cover I liked that they had last week.. they don’t stock it any more…

6. Various pretty things to put in my bedroom as I wanted to treat myself and do it up.. didn’t buy anything as I decided there really wasn’t anything wrong with my bedroom as all I do is sleep or cry in it so what’s the point..

7. A pair of very nice shoes – didn’t buy because really why do I need to spend money on more shoes when I already have a pair each of sandals, work boots, safety boots, gym shoes, zumba shoes and slippers.

On top of all this eyeing up I also went to buy a £40 (yes you read that right.. forty fecking quid!!!) light shade from John Lewis for my bedroom that has never had one – they don’t sell them in store any more.. will have to order on line.. now gone off the idea..

So in conclusion, I am shit at so many things especially shopping.

Let the Damsel See the Knight!

So I took my son to the pub on Saturday. I thought if we sat and chatted and spent time in the natural surroundings of an 18 year old boy he might relax and talk to me.

I was also in need of a drink or two after the last few weeks, and this was the first night out since his 18th in February. After I was having to wait for him to get ready, we set off. I drove down and parked the car in the town carpark and we headed to the pub. 1 drink was all I was buying him. 1 drink however turned into 5. 5 large glasses of Rose for me and 5 pints for him.

Within 2 minutes of us being in the pub the lovely lady behind the bar gave the boy a telling off and told him to repsect and appreciate me more as I was his mum, and she had lost hers when she was only 22 and missed her very much. I think she must have seen his facebook status stating that he hated me last weekend, (I was told about it by a friend). I just stood and smiled. Then when we had our 1st drinks we saw a couple of his friends (who I do know to say hi to but nothing else) and sat with them. Within 10 minutes or so they were both telling him to get a job. Why didn’t he have a job? Did he know there are 1400 jobs within the Littlehampton area?! So why didn’t he have a job?!?! I just sat and smiled.

After trying to find out if you put the liquid from those glow sticks into a bottle of bubbles would it make the bubbles glow (it doesn’t), and 5 glasses of wine I headed home. And yes I walked it. The whole mile and half in the dark, by myself!!

The following morning I woke with no hangover or ill affect, had my poached eggs on toast and headed into town to collect my car. When I got there I discovered that some bastard had smashed my wing mirror of and taken it with them. So now to add to my soon to be unemployment, lack of phone (nope still don’t have it) and the boy, I am now driving around with the wires hanging where my mirror should be and the threat of another large bill.

Now would be a really really good time for that Knight in shining armour to turn up! Come on, I’m waiting for you, let the Damsel see the Knight!

Making the Numbers Mean Something

Just a bit of fun.
So I have lost 20lbs over the last 4 weeks. But what is 20lbs??
Its 9071g

Just over 36 packs of butter

A newborn california sealion.

9 bags of sugar

An adult Koala

at 20 degrees its just under 16 pints of water

A female california sea otter

So there we have it.. any one of those is what I have lost..

(if I have any of these wrong please don’t bother pointing it out because I just don’t care, blame Google!)

Pie and Mash vs Salmon and Salad

Tonights dinner.
The Boys: Pie and Mash

Plate: 1 Steak pie, mash potato, peas and sweetcorn, gravy.
Total calories: 1250
Yum Factor: he loved it

Mine: Large Salad with Baked Salmon

Plate: lettuce,  watercress, rocket, baby spinach,  celery, spring onion, cheey tomatoes, sweetcorn, salmon, chilli, lime
Calories: 365
Yum factor: blooming lush.

Which looks looks yummiest?
Which would you rather eat?

CHIPS!!

I am craving chips. Not just any old chips, the chips you get from the chip shop. A little bit greasy, with lots of vinegar and a bit of salt. Perhaps with some curry sauce. Ummmmmm soooo tasty.

It’s not something we have ever had a lot off. At home on the rare occasion I made them they were oven ones. But chip shop chips were my once a month treat that I would pick up on my way home from work. More often than not with a nice piece of battered cod. I would get indoors and unwrap the yummy goodness and the cats would appear as soon as the smell wafted to wherever they were. They would sit patiently for their fish, normally getting about half of it, so I would have to buy a large fish.

Its been over a month since my last chippy night, so perhaps that is why I’m craving them. The craving is just for the chips. I had it last night, and it took all my will power not to pop into the chip shop at Ferring to get just a small childs portion on my way home. The craving has come back, started earlier today. I think I want to cry.

Chips out of the paper, chips warm on my lap, chips hot and tasty, vinegar splashed chips.. ohhh chips… sigh… 😦

I ♡ Tatties..

I am trying to give up carbs as part of this diet thing. It was either them or meat, and I’m sorry but I bloody love my meat.

I am finding I am having to ween myself off them. Yesterday with my salad I had 2 small new potatoes, today I had just one. They taste so yummy.

Then I thought just now that it is Sunday tomorrow. Sunday is roast day. Chicken, pork, lamb or beef with lots of veggies, but also as important, roast potatoes.

Golden and crunchy on the outside white light and fluffy on the inside. I had finally managed to suss how to cook the perfect roast potato about this time last year. Everytime since my tatties have been perfect. Par boiled for the right amount of time, right type of oil nice and hot, oven set right, shaking the tin and hearing their crisp shells crack against the sides, then taking them out and placing them on kitchen paper to get rid off the excess fat, and then serving them up on the plates with the meat and veg. And lastly pouring on that rich gravy made in the meats roasting tin, making sure it doesn’t spill onto the tatties and make them go soft. Ummmmm roast potatoes surely the food of the gods.

And then there is the jacket potato. The crisp brown skin opened up and a knob of butter forked into the soft insides. A good helping of baked beans and a generous grating of cheese on to. Or without the beans on a plate of salad and lovely sliced of cold cooked gammon.
Jacket potatoes the food of the demigods.

And where would we be without the mashed potato? Mashed till light and fluffy with a knob of butter and a splash of milk, seasoned with freshly ground pepper and salt (sometimes with a little whole grain mustard mixed in too). Served with anything, but nothing beats it spooned on top of mince, sprinkled with grated cheese and put in the oven to go golden to produce the comfort food of all comfort foods the shepards/cottage pie.

Then there is the humble new potato. Boiled, eaten hot or cold, as a salad or with a salad, with lovely spring lamb or some fresh salmon. Small and perfect in every way. 

I guess I should include chips. But the only ones worth mentioning are the ones eaten out of the paper on the beach or riverside. Sprinkled with salt and vinegar that stings your nostrils as you breath their heavenly scent when they are first unwrapped.

Potatoes, what can I say? I will miss you, but I know one day we can be happy together again, but for now I must say, not goodbye, just a fond farewell and adieu until I can take pleasure in your scrummyness once more. I will miss you…….

Panic!!

So I’m at work and my phone lets me know I have a voice mail..
I pick it up and listen..
“Hi.. this is a message for Miss Archer. This is Lauren from southern Water leakage detection team. Calling because we have come by and read your meter and the reading is showing really high consumption for the last 6 months, much higher than your usage previously”.
At this point I panic.
“We haven’t billed you yet so you wont get a huge bill landing on your doorstep. If you could call me back on 01903 ******…”
There was more to the message but I hung up and called back.
I spoke to a nice man who said Lauren was on  her lunch break. LUNCH BREAK?!?! What?? She leaves a message telling me somewhere I have an olympic sized swimming pool in my back garden (well not quite but the brain does start to go into over drive), and then goes on her lunch break?!?! How very dare she!

Anyway nice man (can’t remember his name so will call him Jason), Jason looks up my details. He said “wow yes that is rather a lot.”
“What are we talking? How much?” I ask.
“Well we haven’t billed you yet so I can’t say but I did a bill for someone yesterday and they had used (some huge number) cubic metres and their bill came to about £7500 and you’ve used (an even higher about that I cant remember) so I’ll let you do the maths.”

Panic! Sick feeling!

“There is no way I have used that amount of water.” I manage to say before taking a gulp of my scicilian lemon, ginger and honey tea (its very nice you know) wishing it was a large gin.
“Have you had any work done on the house?”
“Nope”
“Any leaks?”
“Nope.. they would have to be tsunami size leaks to use that much water.. I only had a drip from my toilet which was fixed in a matter of 2 days and only produced about 4 pudding bowls of water.”
“Built a swimming pool?”
“Have you seen the size of my house/garden?”
“Hot tub?”
“No”
“Didn’t leave the sprinklers on in the garden in the summer?”
“Well you know what I did think about it as I was concerned the grass wasn’t looking green enough. But no I did not use any sprinklers.”
“Oh” he laughed.
“and I don’t have a cannabis farm either. I am really stingy about my metered services.  My heating hasn’t been on yet this winter. I have a 17 year old who is allergic to water unless its the salty type. I do all the washing up in the evening, and I have the same washing machine. Nothing has changed.”
“So you’ve had no work done, you don’t have a hot tube or swimming pool and we have done no work near you.” He deduces.
” No no and no.. perhaps they read the wrong meter. Perhaps the meter is wrong, I’ve had friends who have had duff meters.”

Anyway, nice Jason explains that they will need to send someone round to have a look.

So it has been arranged for 24th in the morning. I am panicing.. I can’t afford a £80000+ water bill. I can’t afford a £800 water bill. I can only just afford my £283/year water bill I’ve had for the last 3 years since being metered.
I don’t own anything worth £8k+.

So now I wait until the 24th to find out my fate. Wondering if I can move abroad before then to avoid the huge bill I suspect is coming my way.

Perhaps Southern Water will be kind. Perhaps they will just bill me my normal amount, after all haven’t they got way too much water now? Thought they might be giving it away after the year of rain we have had.  Here’s hoping. *fingers crossed*