Haircut and a Holiday

It has been 2 weeks since my last blog. I do apologise (you have probably been glad of the peace). Brain has not really been in the correct place to write anything and to be honest I could not think of anything to say.  

It has been 2 weeks of ups and downs again. All in all a bit of a rough month. Last week I put on a pound. My excuse being that good old mother nature paid a call weekend just gone so must have been water retention. (I know I am just making excuses!!)

The boy is being a bit of an arse at the mo. Well not an arse, just an 18 year old I guess. Last week I saw him on the Tuesday evening for ½ hour, then I did not see him until Monday night this week. I had had contact, mainly when I text him to enquire “are you still alive?” and I got a “yeh” back. He seems to have turned nocturnal. Out all night, home (if he bothers) at 8am ish and then sleeps all day.

I have taken the approach with him that I have stepped right back. After all he is 18 now and I legally have no control over him. You might say that if he is living in my house then I should have some sway. But have you tried that with an obstinate teen? So anyway, as I said, I have stepped back. I don’t question him about what he is doing, where he is going or who he is out with. I don’t get a straight answer anyway. “Where are you going?” “to a friends” “which friend?” “just a friend”. “will you be home tonight?” “potentially” “is that a yes or a no?” “its a potentially, I might I might not”.

I hope he isn’t doing anything illegal, or anything that is going to harm him. I hope that at some point the light switch will go on in his head and he will come back to me. But as they say, ‘if you love them let them go’. I have done my best for him. I hope I have given him a good start in life, a good moral understanding of what is right and wrong. I hope he does not do anything that is going to affect his future in a negative way, I hope he is not doing anything that will damage him physically or mentally.

We did have had a “discussion” of him contributing to the household. He doesn’t seem very keen. But it has been a well over a year now since he last paid anything towards food, bills, council tax, rent etc. At one point last week, in fact on the Tuesday, he did plonk a bottle of squash on the kitchen work top and said “you can’t say I don’t contribute now”. I don’t drink squash, I haven’t brought squash for about 4 years!

Well anyway enough of the Boy, what else has happened? Ummm well I went to the hair dressers the other day. First time in about 3 or 4 years. It was a spur of the moment thing, and errrrrm haven’t things changed!? Mainly the cost. £35! Thirty five pounds for a wash and dry!?!? And that was reduced from £56 because it was a standby appointment!

I was asked what I use to wash my hair with (by the girl who was going to wash it). “whatever is on offer” was my response. But she wanted to know what sort, thickening, straightening etc? “whatever is on offer, I think at the moment its one that supposedly keeps your colour”. She then informed me they didn’t have any colour whatever-it-is-called shampoo so would use something else. I didn’t care, I just wanted my hair washed (probably the thing I love most about going to the hairdressers).

After being taken to the sinks in a room with no windows and black shiny tiles on the wall I sat in the chair and laid back. “I’ll just turn the massagers on”.  Small problem I was sitting off centre in the chair so my left bum cheek and spine had a massage while my right hand side felt remarkably left out. Then as she applied the conditioner I got a “complementary scented eye mask”. It smelt like those warm wet wipes you get after your meal in a Chinese.

When the conditioner and a bit of massaging of my head was completed I was taken back to the cutting chair. “I’ll just give you your complementary head massage now”. Now that was awkward. What was I supposed to do? Keep my eyes open? Close them? Sleep? Read a magazine? I opted for the eyes half shut technique. After that was finished I finally got my hair cut, and apparently the “till it is dry” is not the correct response when asked “how would you like your hair dried?” All in all it was a pleasurable experience, but I won’t be paying £56 for the same service. If I do go back it will be for a standby appointment again.

Something a little more exciting is on the horizon. I have decided I need a break. Just a short 2 or 3 nights away one for the time being. So I have been to the travel agent and got some ideas. I am thinking a short cruise that goes up to Bruges then down to the Channel Islands. I won’t have to cook or do anything. I can stay in my cabin or I can explore the ship. I can explore when the ship docks or I can stay on board. I can just relax and watch the world sail by. Having not had a holiday in 15 years I really think I deserve one. Like I said just a short break to start, but then I am also looking at taking a longer one later in the year. Anyway watch this space while I decide, oh and any suggestions of good sites for cheap holidays, or good places to go please let me know. I just have no idea where or what I shall do really.

Anyway, on to the weigh in. Hoping to have a couple of pounds of this week as I have been oober good, and been to 2 classes back to back last Wednesday after weigh in (cardio followed by zumba) and 3 other zumba classes since then. This week I have lost….. Diddley squat.. I have gained…… Diddley squat.. Yep that’s right nothing, after a week of really trying hard, of 4 zumba classes and 1 cardio and not eating above my calories I have neither lost or gained!?! What is going on?!?!

3 weeks ago I gained 3lbs
2 weeks ago I lost 4lbs
1 week ago I gained 1lb
And this week nothing??!! This is a bad bad month! It is not having a positive effect on my mind at all! Time for a regroup, rethink and a decision on what to do or where to go from here needs to be made, and quickly before it all goes tits up.

Changing Room Self Esteem

Just have to do a quicky blog sitting in Costa having my skinny iced coffee.

After a week of illness, snot, wheezing, asthma, coughing and a throat feeling like it has been scrapped with sand paper, I just needed to get out of the house and away from the boy who in his words “has been on a bender for a week”. So I headed to Portsmouth. Something I soon regretted as everyone seemed to have choosen this hot sunny bank holiday Monday to head to the city and I was stuck in traffic trying to get into Pompy for an hour. 

Finally getting in to a car park I entered Cascades.  One of my main intentions of coming to Pompy was to get some new trousers for zumba classes. For the last 3 weeks I have been hitching the ones I’ve been wearing up every 5 minutes.

Anyone who knows me, knows I am not a shopper. I hate shopping and I especially hate clothes shopping. All that trying on of clothes lord knows how many others have put on their hot sweaty bodies. Standing in small changing rooms squeezing yourself into clothes that after all that effort look bloody awful on you and your self esteem plummets through the floor.

So I entered that certain shop that is well known to those plus size ladies of us. After a bit of searching I found the most suitable trousers. Now do I go for the size I thought I was last time I went clothes buying? The size I had turned out to be (a size larger)? Or do I brave a size smaller? Well I knew I couldn’t possibly be the larger size. So I look for the size I thought I was last time. Got it. Then I find the next size down. Got it. Ready to have my self esteem destroyed I make my way to the changing rooms.

First the bigger size. Yep they fit, but a bit baggy. So to try the next size down. Yep easy fit. Dare I try the next one down? Dashing out I find it, and a bra and a top. So to the next size down. It fits!! Oh my god! Hate to think what the women in the other rooms were thinking was up to as I kept squeeling and laughing. I put the bra on. The number has gone down but the cup size hasn’t! Another win I think ladies! And the top, yep it was smaller.

Soooooo my boobs are still there! Whoop! And my sizes are down by 3! Double Whoop!! I can’t remember the last time I brought clothes this size. Probably not since my son was a baby.

Now that has made up for last Wednesdays weigh in horror and given me a much needed boost. For the first time ever I have left a clothes shop with a positive boost to my self esteem.

Job, Weigh In, And A Goal!

Soooo a week of being a forced lady of leisure. I had a lovely time down in Dorset firstly with a good friend and then with the parents and sister.

Came home yeaterday to a stroppy teenager. Sigh.. when will he actually appreciate everything I have done for him, all the things he has done, all the years of struggling and me going without so he can do those things?

A year he has been unemployed and it doesn’t seem he is doing anything much about getting a job. He doesn’t contribute to the house and he has become increasingly rude and selfish. Last night he said (not for the first time) he wished I wasn’t his mother. If that is the case wtf is he still living here for?! Aggggghhhhh!?!?!??!?!

With the stress of being unemployed, grief and abuse from the son I have had my fill this week, and have been ready for something good to happen. Well today it has. I was asked yesterday to attend an interview today for a job that I thought I would have no chance of getting. Getting there 1/2 an hour early I finally found a parking space and went in to be shown around the facility. After a quick informal chat/interview I got offered a job! Starting on Monday. Whoop!

Now all I needed was to get a good weigh in to finish the day off. Not being feeling particularly possitive about this after a night out and a huge meal last Thursday with my team from my last job, rather a lot of wine consumed at the weekend and my general eating routine being up the spout because of having no routine in my daily life because of the lack of job I headed off to class rather apprehensively. Standing on the scales and holding my breath (rather stupid thing really because that surely means I am holding additional weight in the form of air in my lungs) I waited for the verdict. This week I have lost 3lbs! Awesome!!! Really very happy with that. So that is a total of 59lbs! And, not that I can tell you what it is, but I have achieved a personal goal weight wise. So oober happy.

New Job – tick!
Private Goal Met – tick!
Weight Lost – tick!
Sun Shining – tick!
A fabulous day all in! Might play the lottery this weekend!

BOOM!!!

So despite all the crap going on in my life one thing seems to be consistant. Despite the fact it can be rather hard work and not as easy as some might think it is for me, every week it seems to be the only a happy constant in my life.

I am not a woman who is slightly over weight. I am very over weight, morbidly obese I belive the technical term is. In fact I bet when I started this journey I was bigger than you, who is reading this right now, and I probably still am.

It was scary going into a Rosemary Conley Diet and Fitness group for the first time and knowing how awful I would look sweating it out for 45 minutes and hopefully make it to the end alive. I was and still am the largest in the classes I go to.

I try to go to Zumba 4 times a week. Most days I also take a 1/2 hour walk. Most nights I, like so many others, get home from work tired and just wanting to sit down, but most nights (Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday) I have the chance to go out meet new people make new friends and have some fun.

More often than not I am exhausted at the end, but I always have a smile on my face. The ladies that lead the classes are lovely and its always great fun trying to keep up and learn the new routines they like to throw at us on a regular occurrence.

Once a week, as you know, I weigh in. Since January that has always been on a Thursday night. At the end of February the venue changed as the class I had started at was closed down. I went to another and was welcomed in by all the lovely ladies that already attended it.

Now my weigh in day has changed to a Wednesday. My original class leader has started a new class in a new venue.
So tonight was the first one. You might remember that last week I weighed in on the Friday. So I was rather nervous going along tonight as it was only 5 days since my weigh in.

Stepping on the scales I got the result I wanted! 2lbs! 2lbs in 5 days! Whoop! And what is even better that means I have lost a fabulous 56 lbs or 4 STONE in exactly 4 Months!!

4 BLOODY STONE!!

So, no its not easy for me despite what some might think and yes its hard every week to make sure I don’t binge out on bread, crisps, nuts and pink n whites! Yes I still have major insecurities about shaking my arse in Zumba and looking a fool. But I am so glad I do it, all of it, and if I keep going on and doing so well my dream of a new me in January next year might just happen.

Bring on (or rather take off), the next 4 stone!

Spicy Root Veg, Spinach and Lentil Stew

So here is number 1 of my thrifty recipes.

A spicy root veggie stew. I don’t peel the root vegtables so I keep all their vitamins and nutrients.
It’s easy to make and cheap too. This does about 4 servings. So thats 4 dinners or some can be half portions for my lunches.

Ingredients:

Spray oil
1 onions
3 garlic cloves
750g potatoes
2 parsnips
4 carrots
2 tbsp curry powder
1litre stock
120g red lentils
20g pearl barley
150g Spinach
Salt and Pepper

1. Heat a large casserole pan, spray a couple squirts of the oil and cook the chopped onion and finely chopped garlic until softened, stirring occasionally.

2. Chop the potatoes, carrots and parsnips into quite large chunks and cook for 6-7 minutes, stirring, until the vegetables start to colour.

3. Stir in the curry powder and stock and bring to the boil. Reduce the heat, add the lentils and pearl barley, cover and simmer for 20-30 minutes until the pulses and vegetables are tender and the sauce has thickened.

4. Mix in the spinach season and cook for another 4 minutes.

Serve up and enjoy!

According to myfitnesspal.com this is 365 calories per serving. Its lovely and filling and low in fat. Now that can’t be bad can it?

I would normally serve it up with some nann breads, pitta bread or wraps.
(Obviously thats not an option for me at the mo).

Weigh In and a Challenge

Another week done. Phew!
As you already know I went out last weekend for a few too many drinks. Apart from that I have been pretty good.

This week I have tried to eat more fibre. One way has been to have 50g of dried appricots and 50g of prunes a day. They make good snack food and I carry them around in a bag snacking as I go. Shockingly for the first 4 days of doing this I had really bad wind. As in all day! And strangley they didn’t smell of roses! Working in construction amongst all those hairy arsed builders it wasn’t noticed. Well if it was obviously they wouldn’t have suspected me as, as I have pointed, out mine normally smell of roses.

I have been a good girl and only had 1 packet of pink n whites this week and none of my fav peanut and seaweed crackers.

What I have discovered are the new Alpen Light Cereal bars. The double chocolate ones are gorgeous. Only 65 calories and a great little fudgy chocolate fix. After zumba we have been given free samples of the summer fruits ones. They are 63 calories and quite sweet. If you are looking for a tasty low fat low calorie snack I can recommend them. I will only be buying them when they are on offer or if I have a money off voucher.

This coming week is going to be a difficult one food wise. I have messed up my money because of a couple of big bills and after my rent is paid I will have about £18 to last me until next Thursday. With a lack off food in the fridge I am going to set myself the task of feeding myself on £2 a day. Thats not very much considering the number of calories I have to eat and that they have to be low fat. (Pink n whites are only 50p!!) I am guessing it will mean I will have to get over my dislike of chewing beans as I am guessing they are going to be a staple in my diet, as are lentils. I might do a recipe or two as well. I have lots of recipes that are cheap and easy after years of raising my son on very little money.

So anyway, Thursday night weigh in was cancelled as the school hall we normally use was being used for polling. Tonight I got to zumba early so I could jump on the scales. Well carefully, reluctantly step on them. And I have lost 4lbs! 4 LBS!!! Wow! After only the 1lb last week I was going to be happy with 2lbs, but 4lbs!! Thats a total now of 54lbs.

As a fish this is what 54lbs looks like!

The same as about 100 packs of butter!

So onwards and upwards.. dare I hope for the 4 stone mark next week?

1 2 3 aaaggggghhhhh!!!!

Ok so I know there are wars, starving people, abuse and hatred going on in this world, but this week has been a shit week, and I am feeling very sorry for myself. AGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After a long and tiring couple of weeks I ended up locking The Boy out last Friday after an incident on Thursday evening. Not going to go into details, but lets just say I couldn’t be doing with the agro and stress he was causing me. He has turned into a selfish and self-centred young man and I am really fed up with it. Something he has done has put me under huge stress and in a situation that I am going to find very difficult to get out of. Don’t ask me what it is because I won’t tell, but contributory factors include the fact he has been claiming job seekers for the last 6 weeks and I have not seen a penny towards, the food, bills, rent, council tax etc. I told him I would like half of what he gets. Something I do not think is unreasonable. As I pointed out to him that £60 every 2 weeks is a tiny amount to get what he does at home and then he still has just under £60 to spend on what he likes. I wish I had a spare £60 a fortnight, or even a spare £6 would be nice.

So Friday night after about an hour of him knocking on the door and throwing stones up at my window at 3am he realised I was not for stirring and he spent the night in the garage. I was up and left the house on the Saturday morning and as I drove away in my rear view mirror I saw the garage door open and him standing watching me with his arms raised in the air. Later that afternoon when I went back he turned up wanting a change of clothes and his charger. I handed them over and he threw something that belonged to me back. He informed me, (not for the first time), that he didn’t love me and he was sorry he wasn’t the perfect son I wanted. I pointed out I didn’t want a perfect son, just one that respects me, my house, everything I have done and still do for him. One that contributes towards the mountain of food he consumes and the water, gas and electricity he uses. I wish I was in a situation where I could provide for him and support him financially for as long as it takes for him to sort himself out. But I’m not, I struggle juggling what money I do have every month, actually every week. As for the not loving me part, it hurts just that little bit more when they are 18 and know what they are saying compared to a 5 year old throwing a tantrum. The teenager knows it’s going to hurt and they know it’s a killer thing to say.

He also informed me that I had pushed him away too many times and that was it. No more. He told me that he wasn’t coming back and that I would be “sad and alone” living by myself. Ummmmmm let me think about that one.

So Saturday night he spent at a friend’s. On Sunday I was doing the washing and cleaning the house when he returned home again. He wanted to come in and charge his phone and sleep in his bed. I informed him unless we talked and sorted it out it wasn’t going to happen. So after about an hour of us talking, him cycling away and coming back for round 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6. I finally agreed he could come back, as long as he started to respect the house, respect me, contributed to the house financially( half his money), and practically (keeping his room tidy, cleaning up any mess he makes). For the second time that week I did tell him that if on Wednesday I did not get any money from him that he would have to buy his own food for the 2 weeks after.

He came in went up to his room and promptly feel asleep. As I stood and watched him sleeping from the doorway I wondered what life would hold for him. I had always seen a bright future for him growing up. He had been a bright, happy boy with a love for life and a love of a good laugh. We have laughed together so much over the years that it seems strange now I don’t see him laugh, or even smile when he is around me. I try and work out what it is that changed, why it changed, but I can think of nothing. There has been no big events in the last 3 years, nothing traumatic or unusual. I’m just so confused.

Now it’s Friday and nothing much has changed. I never see him, he leaves the house before I get home in the evening, and returns after I have gone to bed. I come home and the first thing I do is clean up his mess, mainly from him cooking during the day. He did tidy his room on Tuesday, because we had an inspection by the letting agent, but has done nothing since then. He doesn’t answer any of my phone calls or text messages. He did not give me any money on Wednesday so since Thursday morning I have not cooked for him and removed the remains of the cottage pie I cooked for him from the fridge. Its harsh and I don’t like to do it, but he has to learn.

The second thing that happened was on Sunday I managed to drop my phone. As I heard the unmistakable sound of the screen cracking on my kitchen floor I sighed and wondered what else the universe would like to throw at me. Thankfully my phone is insured through my bank account, so I called them up and they told me that they did not have any of mine in stock but as soon as they did they would send it out to me. Monday morning I got the call to say some were in stock and that I would get it on Tuesday. Tuesday came, no phone turned up. I called the insurers and asked what happened, it turns out the courier tried to deliver to the wrong address, even though they had the correct one. Reorganised delivery for Wednesday, phone turned up. Unwrapped it, it was the wrong phone. I called them up, and pointed out that not only was it the wrong phone but I couldn’t use it until I got the correct one as it wouldn’t take my micro sim card. I was informed my phone would be in stock on Thursday and I would get it on Friday. I told the lady that I had to have it Friday at the latest as I am about to finish my job and I need future employers to contact me so I could work. She promised it would arrive Friday. It is Friday. I won’t be getting my phone until Monday at the earliest now. I have no phone, which means no email, no texts, no numbers, no phone calls and possibly no job come Wednesday. Thanks, Natwest, Aviva and Carphone Warehouse. Between the three of you you might have just screwed things up right royally for me!

And thirdly last night was weigh in. What a disaster that was. 1lb, one measly pound. What’s the point in that?!?!?!? That’s crap, I’ve upped my Zumba classes again and I lose less! Total rethink now going on re what I am eating and what I am doing. Something has gone wrong.

After the last week, I have had enough. The world and its minions seems to be continually working against me. All I want is a quiet life, a simple life, a life that just plods along. I want a son who is respectful, and who tows the line, I want a phone that bloody works, I want a job come Wednesday, a better weight loss and damn great big packet of cheese and onion kettle crisps!

PC and Handover Week

Mad mad week. Work has been all a little mad. Monday was handover date at work. This is the day that contractually we have to hand over the building we have constructed to the client. They can obviously turn around and say “I’m not happy with the work I do not accept the building” which would mean big penalties for us and not to mention a few breakdowns.

So leading up to this week we have been getting more and more frantic on site which culminated in us working long and late over the weekend. As you will have seen from my previous blog I was here working my big fingers to the bone out on site. Finally leaving at about 9pm on Sunday night. What I didn’t mention in my blog was what I discovered while lying on a floor with 4 blokes peeling up glue. This was about 5pm ish. I had been on site since 8am and things were aching and if it hadn’t been for the cola caffeine high I was having at the time I would have probably curled up and slept. Anyway there I was dusty, mucky, crap all over my trousers when I noticed something strange. Taking a second look at my leg I realised the seam was showing. Looking round to my other leg I saw my other seam. It was then I realise with some horror that I had been wearing my trousers on inside out all day! I knew I had been tired when I was dressing at 7am but hadn’t realised I was that tired! How embarrassing. Thankfully they had no pockets and were just plain black ones. I don’t think anyone noticed. But then again they are all blokes on site so I am guessing they wouldn’t have realised even if they had noticed.

Anyway Monday soon arrived and back on site it was all a bit manic again, between putting signs up, chasing blokes to put blue over shoes on, peeling off protection, ordering food and drinks for the (hopefully) celebration at 3pm I was really starting to wish it was the weekend the next day. 3pm came, the client arrived. We waited as they walked around. I showed others around and filmed training that was going on. Then we got the news that they were very happy with the building, the workmanship and how far we had got.

So we achieved PC on the 15th April 2013. Not a mean feat considering we had gone through one of the wettest and coldest years in recent history. While dealing with client changes, dealing with sub-contractors, one of which sadly entered administration at a critical stage of the project.

So Worthing has its new pools, the new Splashpoint will open on the 1st May 2013, and I hope the resident of the surrounding area and visitors to the county enjoy using the facilities here.
There is:
Diving pool with moveable floors (0m to 3.8m),

25m competition pool with moveable floors (0m to 2m),

Leisure pool with slides, flume, pirate ship, water cannons, water mushroom, massage spouts and bubble machines

Outdoor shallow pool,
Fitness suite,
.
Café,
Sauna,
Steam room,
Spa area with loungers,

2 Treatment rooms,
2 Studios

I really do love working in construction. I love driving past places and seeing people using and enjoying the spaces knowing I was involved in their creation and hopefully adding something beneficial to their environment and lives.

I do wonder if people do think about how these places are built and how many people, man hours, materials, skills, it took to be there.

So after a long and tiring week we are at the wonderful weigh in day.. sigh. Time of the month and getting weighed always fills me with dread, know what I mean ladies!? So hoping water retention and the fish and chips hadn’t work against me I stood on the scales to discover I have put on 3 lbs!! WHAT!?!?!?! Nahhh only joking. I lost 3lbs. That makes the total weight loss is 3 and 1/2 stone. I think that is the same as my 5 year old niece weighs! Whoop!!

Can’t Stop Eating

It has been a very strange week. For the last 3 months I haven’t felt hungry at all. But the last 7 days I seem to have been eating non-stop (staying within calorie intake limits) and I have craved bad (ie high fat) stuff, and given in.

At the weekend I had a doughnut. Well 2 actually. One good thing about having an 18 year old son who eats non-stop and is just pure muscle and not an inch of fat, is that he quickly hoovered up the remaining doughnuts. In fact it was his fault they were in the house!! He asked for £1 to get something for his pudding while I was cooking tea, and came home with 2 packs of 5 doughnuts! He had eaten 3 on his way back from the shop, then had another 2. Then I had one, and he had one, and I had another and he polished off the last 2. In fact in 2 hours he had eaten 8 doughnuts, a huge portion of chicken curry and 4 slices of toast! I know I didn’t have to have 2 or even 1. But they were there, and you know what they weren’t that great. Doughnuts should be covered in proper sugar not icing sugar. I hung my head in shame as I stood facing the wall (regressing back to primary school) after, however I did draw the line at running along the beach dragging 2 cement filled tyres singing Eye of the Tiger at full volume as a punishment suggested by a friend!!

Unfortunately my shame did not end with the doughnuts. I have also had 2 packets of cheese and onion crisps this week. First ones since December. They tasted soooooo good. They were the proper full fat kind which are apparently made using cheese from Somerset. They weren’t consumed on the same day, one on Friday and one on Monday. I hang my head in shame again. And we won’t talk about the Cadburys crème egg I had on Sunday and Monday. Oh and I’ve just remembered the 2 snack packs of seaweed peanut crakers I had yesterday at work for my breakfast.

I have no excuses for all this naughty eating. I have just been so hungry and really craving food. For the last 3 months I have found it hard to eat the amount of calories I should be eating and not been hungry at all, and now I seem to have no problem eating it. Thing is its not all been good stuff and I suppose because its naughty stuff it has higher calories and that’s why I am getting to my target intake most days. In my plan I am allowed to have a high calorie treat every day of about 100 calories. Doughnuts deffo are not only 100 calories. Perhaps because I have eaten this higher fat/sugar foods that is why I seem to be so hungry. I don’t know. If you were to look at my food diary on myfitnesspal you would see I have been 100% honest with what I have eaten, as there really is no point in lying to myself about it. A treat now and then is ok. Having as many as I have had in a week probably isn’t so good.

Unfortunately I haven’t made it to Zumba since my class last Thursday after weigh in. On my way to work on Friday my car decided it was going to play up so it swiftly (or rather not so swiftly) made its way to the garage and was where it was until Tuesday. This meant I couldn’t make it to Friday or Monday nights classes as they are about 25 minute drive away. My Tuesday night session was cancelled, and so the Zumba has had a bit of a break. I think I have only been twice in 2 weeks.. that’s bad.

However because of the lack of car I have done quite a bit of walking. Friday was the most, and not intentionally. After getting the car to the garage I said I would get the important stuff out of the car and give them the key. This I did, returned the key and walked a mile into town to catch the bus to work. I got to the bus stop and just as it was pulling up I realised in my hands I had my Zumba shoes and not my laptop!!! Aggghhhh!!!!!! Cursing myself I walked the mile back to the garage, retrieved my keys and swapped the shoes for the laptop (the shoes were sooo much lighter), and then walked the mile again back into town to catch the bus. Coming home I had a mile and half walk. So just on the Friday I had done just over 4 miles! I also walked into town and back on the Saturday, so that was another 3 miles. And then there was Monday when I had to walk to catch the bus to and from work, I did a bit of a cheat I went from a stop about 10 mins from my house. And then on the Tuesday I had to walk the 1/2 mile to the garage to collect the car.

Sunday I blitzed the house, from top to bottom. Even the skirting boards got a wet cloth waved at them! The boy woke up in a surprisingly good mood and also cleaned his room. With no encouragement (nagging/moaning from me!), he even changed his sheets! Then, and this is when I got really suspicious, he had a shower!! Nothing unusual in that I hear you say, but this is an 18 year old boy who thinks because he spends a large proportion of the year in the sea (he kitesurfs), it means he doesn’t need to shower often. But this was his second shower in 2 days! So I knew something was afoot! And it turned out I was right, he had got back with the ex-girlfriend, girlfriend ex-girlfriend girlfriend, and he was going to bring her back to the house. Now this is another milestone. He has never brought a girlfriend back to the house when I have been there. She unfortunately doesn’t like spicy food, so my planned Masala chicken had to be substituted for a plain old roast chicken, but it was nice to have her there even if it was that first time in boyfriends mothers house awkwardness to it. Hopefully she will relax a bit more as time goes by.

Last night was weigh in, have I lost anything after so eating non-stop for a week? The answer is yes! I’ve lost another 2lbs! thats 46lbs in total!

So going forward, I shall meet self-discipline and introduce it to my self-control, not let my son have high fat high calorie puddings in the house and most importantly, not give myself a hard time about slip ups, because they happen and I am after all, contrary to popular belief, only human.

BMR and TDEE -How I See It.

I have been doing some research into this whole eat more lose weight thing. I find it really confusing and also still very hard to get my head around. I have trawled the internet and looked at many sites, most of which are either very basic and more or less say ”this is what you must believe just go with it” or others that are sooooooo detailed and soooooo complicated that I can’t get my simple mind around it.

When I finish logging my intake for the day on Myfitnesspal I get a rough guess from it what my weight will be in 5 weeks, but then also a lot of the time it says “you are eating too few calories”. Now this goes against everything we get told. All you hear is eat less and you will lose weight. Cut down on everything, be a veggie, eat clean foods, eat raw foods, eat only green foods, pink foods, white foods, eat dust!! All these faddy diets and celebrity lose weight quickly push the eating less calories and deprive yourself of all those tasty foods you like because they are EVIL!!. Yawn.. what a load of baloney!

Yes when I cut my calories down to 1200 a day for 2 weeks I lost a lot of weight, but I still did when we increased the calories up to 1400 for quite a few weeks, and now I have increased them again a month or so ago I am still losing weight! It is so confusing! I know some of that weight was water weight, but most (I hope) was fat. So how can increasing my calorie intake mean I still lose weight??
So what is this secret, well it comes down to 2 things:
BMR – Basal Metabolic Rate
and
TDEE – Total Daily Energy Expenditure

After all the reading I have done I am now going to try and explain what I think these are and what it all means. Bare with me, I will try and do it as simply as possible, and if I have anything wrong and you know better please let me know.

BMR – Basal Metabolic Rate. Well we all have an understanding what metabolic rate but is whats this Basal stuff.
Simply, as I understand it, it is the minimum number of calories you have to eat for your body to function efficiently if all you did was lie in bed all day and not move. This is dependent on your height, weight and sex.

The more you weigh the more energy/fuel your body needs to perform the basic functions that keep you alive. So 36 year Sarah who is 5’6″ and weights 18 stone (252lbs) will need more fuel/calories to just function than 36 year Carol who is 5’6″ and weighs 10 stone (140lbs).
Don’t forget this is just for basic survival, no exercise taken.

TDEE – Total Daily Energy Expenditure.

This is the number of calories, ie fuel, you need to consume daily depending on how active you are. Obviously unless you are lying in a bed all day not moving you need to consume more calories than your BMR so your body has enough fuel to work efficiently and not be detrimental to your health.

If you stick close to or less than your BMR then your body will go into what is sometimes called starvation mode. (Hence the message I sometimes get on myfitnesspal). You will lose weight, but it will be very slow. As a species the human race (most deffinatly me included) we like things like losing weight to happen quickly and get frustrated when that doesn’t happen.

This is when the huge industry that is the diet industry comes in promising quick fixes and miracle pills that will make you lose weight quickly, basically preying on our insecurities and our drive to see quick results. But haven’t you noticed that with all these “miracle pills” and quick fixes the small print says “use with calorie controled diet and exercise”. Oh and I have been sucked in on many of these false promises, and lined the pockets of those multi-million pound companies.

So how do we work out our own BMR and TDEE. There are 100s of sites on the web with various calculators to use. I’ve used this one:

BMR Calculator

So lets put the details of previously mentioned Sarah. We will say she wants to get down to 9 stone (108lbs).

First we we work out her BMR. So we put these details in:
Age: 36
Sex: female
Height: 66
Weight: 252
Goal weight: 252

(We put her current weight in as goal weight as we want to use figures that apply right now).
From this we get these results. Firstly the BMR, remember this is the very least number of calories Sarah should be eating to just maintain her weight and for her body to function normally if she lay in bed all day (bit like my son).

So if Sarah had 1892 calories pumped into her intravenously while she lies in bed alllll day and then she would maintain her current weight.
Now you might think that surely if she eats just that number but exercises and moves around then she would lose weight. And yes she would for a short while, but then her body would catch up and realise its not getting enough energy and will slow down her metabolism and start to store fat as it is starting to panic that its not getting enough to perform the basic tasks plus the additional exercise of just moving.
So then we look a bit further down the page and find the TDEE calculations.

Lets assume she works in an office but has a kid and a dog that she runs about after, and then there is the housework etc she does.
So we would say she is lightly active. This means her TDEE is 2602. So thats 2602 calories she can eat and maintain her weight. She shouldn’t put it on or lose any.

When you come to doing your own TDEE this is obviously subjective, you have to be quite honest when choosing your activity level. Don’t over estimate, but equally don’t underestimate.

So how about losing weight? Well it seems you take a certain percentage, depending on how much you want to loose off your TDEE.
If you want to lose:

5-10 lbs, take off 10%
10-20 lbs, take off 15%
20+ lbs, take off 20%

So Sarah wants to get down to 9 stone so that’s more than 20lbs.

20% of 2602 is 520 (rounded down). So if Sarah eats 2082 calories, she will not only maintain her BMR (which we know is 1892 but it will also allow her to eat under the 2602 TDEE for her weight right now. This is where the whole eat more weigh less comes in.

By eating like this she is teaching her body that she isn’t starving it, and it therefore does not need to store the calories and keep the fat, which in turn will mean the body will release the fat.

As she loses weight she would have to go back to the site and work out her new BMR and TDEE, both of which will go down, and she would alter her calorie intake accordingly.

Simples!! Isn’t it?! So do you get it? I’ll let you do the working out for Carol. And no the figures for Sarah are not mine, for a start I am 5’8″.

Again, if I have this wrong then please let me know, but the above is how I understand it and how the healthy eating plan I am following at Rosemary Conley works. I think.